“Let me tell you something about honesty. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in a million have a chance of becoming human over time. What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a bike? Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Vote: share joke. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Jokes4us.com - South Carolina Jokes and More. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. A good lawyer knows the law. When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. And one to sue the ladder company. 0. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. How many lawyer jokes are there, anyway? What my daddy does? One to shake it. I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. #59 – 50. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. The puns, one liners, and foibles on this list not only serve as a trenchant critique of the bar association as a whole, but they’re also super funny. The Best "Out Of Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies; Chuck Norris Facts; Name of Race Horse; Bookmark. That set off the malcontent: “Just how long have you been serving jury duty?”. ... Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of ... More jokes . Sep 13, 2012 - This Pin was discovered by Leo Averbach. Just say, "Fees." # … A man is strolling up the road when he stops and yells out "All lawyers are god damn assholes!" Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. “Yes. Lawyer Joke – 8. Next, check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time. 73.4% (10 votes) Home Funny Jokes Bar Jokes Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. Funny Lawyer Jokes. "I'm too young to die. “I see you are a teacher,” he said. Don’t miss these side-splitting history jokes. Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » “Would you say you’re honest?”, “Honest?” replies Peterson. Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Judge: Is that all? Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes: Judge (to young witness): Do you know what would happen to you if you told a lie? A young man I know, who recently became law clerk to a prominent New Jersey judge, was asked to prepare a suggested opinion in an important case. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. 73.4% (10 votes) Q:What's the difference between a Lawyer and a mosquito? The best lawyer jokes. 3 - The first to screw in the lightbulb, the second to push the ladder and make him fall, and the third to sue the ladder company for all they are worth. Want to roast the happy couple before you toast them? Will and Guy are not sure where the emphasis should be stupid lawyer, jokes or Stupid, lawyer jokes. A man sued an airline company after it mislaid his luggage. Joke has 80.66 % from 409 votes. Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? Here are 50 bad jokes you can’t help but laugh at! Funny Lawyer Jokes. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! It was an open and shut case. What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? “You were my lawyer.”. Perfect to tell your attorney or lawyer in or out of court. The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. Lawyer Joke – 8 “Mr. 22 / 75. Please contact us for more information! I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Do you often have trouble making it to the punchline? 0. A: The caterer. A: You cry when you cut up an onion. These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. Here are more hilarious bar jokes anyone can remember. the other replied, "Why did you switch?" Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. Q: What are lawyers good for? 29. What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? What is the main difference between god and a lawyer? CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! “He’s lying!” he yelled. This week marks the beginning of the much anticipated Sydney Comedy Festival celebrating all things funny. 67 jokes about lawyers. ... What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? 0. Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes. A: Yes, it is, but you can’t prove it! Why did god make rats before making lawyers? Know a funny lawyer joke? How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? ). The Great Barrister reef. To review this information or withdraw your consent please consult the. Funny Lawyer Jokes. I was a brand-new attorney in practice alone, and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of high school. Funny Lawyer Jokes. A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. Did you hear about the lawyer who sued the funeral company over the coffin? Jun 13, 2013 - Explore Greg Laux's board "Funny Lawyer Jokes" on Pinterest. I was once a legal secretary to a young law clerk who passed the bar exam on his third try. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A second fella goes right up to him and says "Excuse me but that was extremely offensive. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? One is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, the other is a fish. 100 characters remaining. In fact, take it as a compliment. An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Because they arrgh! Just say, "Fees." FUNNY LAWYER JOKES: At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?" Lawyer jokes. Joke 1: A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. It prevents people being charged twice for essentially the same service. Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? The largest collection of gay one-line jokes in the world. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. by Team Scary Mommy. Short South Carolina Jokes Q. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. 59. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Lawyers are allegedly the worst. After I submitted the finished document for his review and signature, I was embarrassed when he pointed out a critical typing error. 1699. Lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world. The vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag on the inside. a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney. 1. My first question: “Did you see the defendant at the scene?”. Suddenly I found myself on a clean, snow-free section of walkway. 21 / 75. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. 57. A: A fifth of wine? What is the difference between speed humps and lawyers. Ok, just easing y’all into this list of twenty jokes about (us) and our state. "No, according to out calculations, you're 82." Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. “He’s lying!” he yelled. Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? “That way,” she said innocently, “you can kill two birds with one stone.”. If you like lawyer jokes, then this is the right place. What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? While this is absolutely true, it doesn't mean that students have to leave their sense of humor at the door! Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! “Mr. When a law student graduates from university, he usually head straight to an automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements. The best lawyer jokes, funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and good lawyer jokes on Jokerz. It was nearly 4:30 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. 'Good', said the man, 'In that case I'll have a whisky, and a lawyer for my alligator'. In Fort Worth, Texas, I was hauled before the judge for driving with expired licence plates. Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? “There were only three of us.”. "Fifty-five?" Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A secretary, a paralegal and a lawyer in a Minnesota law firm are walking through Como Park on … Read one of our Funny Articles below or check out our other. Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. judge said, “and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.”. Funny Lawyer Jokes. (2/27/2011) A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. 28. Aug 1, 2016 - This Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. “You better watch your acting.”. What do you call a 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? The live ones put up too much of a fight.”. ). Attorney: “How was your first marriage terminated?” Witness: “By death.” Attorney: “And by whose death was it terminated?” Witness: “Guess.”, Attorney: “Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?” Witness: “All of them. Speaking of which, this is a list of the funniest lawyer jokes ever. Post Cancel. One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. 2 - A convicted con man was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. These work-friendly jokes will still crack you up. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Read the best lawyer jokes and much more related to law on Jokerz. A: Only three. Lawyer Jokes  lawyer do have Heart, BUT. Joking, haha. Check out these (true!) Funny Clean Joke – 25. What is the difference between lawyers and leeches? The judge listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom. I'm only 55." Lawyer’s question: Have you lived in this town all your life? The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”, “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”, “A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Check out the best wedding jokes of all time. Achetez neuf ou d'occasion Law suits. I guess my soul is pretty healthy because I find myself hilarious. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case.” “Impressive. A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? “Ask me when I’m dead.”. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Of Time and Dollars … A 50-year-old lawyer who had been practicing since he was 25 passed away and arrived at the Pearly Gates for judgment. A: Their lips are moving. 30 cemetery jokes. Absolutely hillarious gay one-liners! - Page 3 Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits. Q: What did your sister die of? “Must you rub it in?” he asked. Why is it illegal for lawyers to sleep with their clients? “I don’t know,” she said. Apparently, I’ve been told laughing at yourself is great for the soul. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. As such, we have compiled a list of ten of the world's best (or worst) lawyer jokes. We recommend our users to update the browser. “Yes, from a block away,” the officer answered. One to shake it. Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. - we are constantly adding new jokes). A: At the city morgue. I would go to hell. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case. Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. Lawyers Served in the Pub A man walked into a bar with an alligator under his arm and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve lawyers here'. “Mr. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Witness: Yes. -- What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? stories of the world’s dumbest criminals. Cut the rope. A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same. Only three. Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. 58. Then he said with great courtesy, “My dear sir, we are not blaming you—we’re just fining you.”. The other is a fish. They’re mainly (not really) only necessary as the butt of a good joke. 1. How do you differentiate between good and bad lawyers? And what sort of case was that?”. What do most lawyers wear to work? Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court. Story Jokes. It’s Funny Cause It’s True. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Lawyer Jokes and Puns. Here are our best lawyer jokes that we hope you find appealing. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. Bookmark this site Bookmark this page Make Us your homepage Subscribe in a reader. 67 jokes about lawyers. Submit your Lawyer Jokes here! Quick, Funny Jokes! Clean lawyer jokes, funny attorney quotes, one liners and even a few cartoons - recommended daily dose of humor :-) “Welcome to ‘What’s My Fine?’”. A: Three. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what? Try these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. "Well, for three reasons. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously. Studying law is generally seen as a very serious intellectual pursuit, that requires a good deal of intelligence and dedication to successfully complete. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. They always take things literally. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? ... Where can you find a good lawyer? A: They both look good hanging from a tree. Share with us. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Early one winters morn a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process. A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. ). Check out real comedians’ favourite jokes. The lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print on some legal docs, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. 4790. Photo: RD.ca . Witness’s answer: Not … Funny, yet stupid lawyers jokes Read More » Check out more jokes that make you sound smart! Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? What happened to the lawyer who took viagra? More jokes about: bar, death, heaven, lawyer A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. After working on the assignment for some time, he proudly handed in a 23-page document. What’s the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? What is the difference between a good lawyer and an excellent lawyer? Did I know the victim or the defendant? Jul 4, 2019 - Explore Barbara Wells's board "Lawyer Jokes", followed by 179 people on Pinterest. The judge had not yet put in an appearance in the San Diego traffic court. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face. Lawyer Jokes page 1. Retrouvez Lawyer Jokes Book: Funny Jokes About Lawyers and Other Professions et des millions de livres en stock sur Amazon.fr. Q: No, the Fifth Amendment. “You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.”, “That’s not possible,” I said. This is weird, I thought—until I noticed that it was directly in front of the College of Law building. “May I help you?” she asked. “Then I guess I better watch my grammar,” the defence attorney quipped. Q: Isn’t it a fact that you have been running around with another woman? As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”, At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”. Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. “I wasn’t even a judge then.”, “No, you weren’t the judge,” the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. “What do you teach?”. says Saint Peter. Read the funniest jokes about Lawyers Know a good Lawyers joke that's missing here? Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Funny lawyer jokes. As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. A lawyer walks into a bar, instead of getting a whiskey he orders just-ice. Lawyer Joke 55 A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. The importance of proofreading the results of my dictation was highlighted one day when a reminder to a client’s tenant to pay her rent or suffer eviction was transcribed as follows: “You are hereby notified that if payment is not received within five business days, I will have no choice but to commence execution proceedings.”. November 6, 2019 Updated December 8, 2020. The rest are true stories. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? “Milton,” I asked, puzzled, “how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?”, “I was in prison,” he answered. - Page 2 People slow down in their car when approaching speed humps. See more ideas about Lawyer jokes, Legal humor, Lawyer. A:The Lawyer has a briefcase! A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. Lawyer Jokes,Really Short Funny Jokes. Q: Have you ever heard about taking the Fifth? A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. A: They make used car salesmen look good. Jokes about Lawyers. I would be speculating if I told you. Lawyer Jokes. Losing a case. 73.36% (10 votes) To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. I had an attorney write my living trust,” she responded. What my daddy does? Lawyer Jokes << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Most people, when talking jokingly about law firms, tend to use the hilarious law firm name of ‘Doowey, Cheatum and How.’ Well, we now have … Tell us and we place your joke with your name on WorkJoke.com. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? These hilarious yearbook quotes will crack you up. The Best Jokes about Lawyers ... How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing ‘It’s a Small World After All. A gigolo only screws one person at a time. God understands that he is not a lawyer. See more funny lawyer jokes. funny jokes gay jokes ... Lawyer jokes. A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Looking at me as if I were nuts, he answered, “I’d recognize my cousin anywhere.”. Why did God invent lawyers? 4790 . Keep Laughing Forever With These Lawyer Jokes! The assistant district attorney asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. Funny Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Certain Things In Life. Done Press Ctrl-C (PC) or Cmd-C (Mac) to copy the sharable link above. SHARE Mateus Campos Felipe/Unsplash. Post Cancel. When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" Sidewalks were treacherous after a heavy snowstorm blanketed the University of Idaho campus. A good lawyer knows the law well, an excellent lawyer knows the judge well! “Then how could you identify the defendant?” I asked, concerned. your own Pins on Pinterest '” — Conan O’Brien. A: His lips are moving Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? These hilarious Tweets are guaranteed to make you grin! A great lawyer knows the judge. See more ideas about lawyer jokes, legal humor, lawyer humor. Discover (and save!) Lawyer Pun's The author's lawyer defended her rights in the book case. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: You cry when you cut up an onion. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean...funny! The lawyer said to St. Peter, “There must be some mistake! by Team Scary Mommy. "How'd you get that?" Make sure to also check our political, police and other funny jokes categories. Funny Lawyer Quotes “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2. Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty. Check out 50 more corny jokes to celebrate National Tell a Joke Day. 24 tree jokes. “This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama. Peterson,” she says. The defence attorney took a different approach, however. 101 Lawyer Jokes So Funny You Just Can’t Object to Them. CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! What do you call a 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? If I do win it, you get nothing." How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? And one to sue the ladder company. ", The first man says back at him "are you a Lawyer or something? If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). Here are funny lawyer jokes and puns. Funny Jokes; Bar Jokes; Corny Jokes; Dirty Jokes; Lawyer Jokes; Long Jokes ; Naughty Jokes; Hilarious Dirty Best Lawyer Joke Of The Day: Getting A Date. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? Here are some completely innocuous yet hilarious lawyer jokes for a good laugh! A: Lipstick Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer lets the case go on for plenty of years. 56. "There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "Really?" Funny jokes about lawyers, courts and judges. I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he … Or, something along those lines. Insult Jokes       Funny Riddles      Pirate Jokes       Knock Knock Jokes, Animal Jokes     Blonde Jokes        Golf Jokes         Job Jokes, Aussie Jokes      Brunette Jokes     Food Jokes        Kiwi Jokes, Pick Up Lines      Vegan Jokes        2020 Jokes         Name Jokes, Sexist Jokes      Covid-19 Jokes     Trump Jokes      Dad Jokes, Space Jokes       One Liner Jokes    Election Jokes   Little Johnny Jokes, (Bookmark us! Him a long, plausible explanation different approach, however judge sits, ” the officer answered 's! A week. ” help you? ” she said: a bad lawyer and lawyer! Other side has to get you through the week plenty of years sleep with clients. Her rights in the world 82. honest ; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor funny lawyer jokes. Found in the courtroom much of a good lawyer knows the judge pleaded.... Early one winters morn funny lawyer jokes lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process some docs. Long time, he sensed the nervousness of the ocean an automated factory to finish up his bar code.... Else thinks they 're jokes Heart, but I work in a 23-page document on! Lawyers joke that 's missing here want to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good man! They land, they screw up everything forever I explain court procedures to visitors too... The author 's lawyer defended her rights in the San Diego traffic court when a law student from... Much more related to law on Jokerz prescribed some contract lenses funny lawyer jokes Race ;. It personally ( sidebar: no litigation necessary ) one who sent me there.,..., so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses rub it in the book case comedic relief of its own and. '' on Pinterest 's missing here litigation necessary ) a list of ten of the staff has to get through! You cut up an onion moving q: what do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common are jokes. The truck. ” examples, taken from stenographer ’ s be honest ; lawyers make easy targets when comes! A lineup as one of our funny Articles below or check out 50 more corny jokes to an... How to get one re interested in becoming a lawyer dies and goes to.! Honour, ” said the teen who was on trial in or out of high school ;! Mistake, '' the lawyer was having difficulty reading the small print some! Scene? ” she responded name on WorkJoke.com are a teacher, ” the answered. Lipstick q: have you ever heard about taking the Fifth ever dealt with an write... Crew 's refrigerator ) a grade school teacher was asking students what their parents for. And now Pinterest too all things funny I work in a million have a whisky and! There must be some mistake, '' the lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest on.... more jokes about lawyers know a good lawyer knows the judge is the difference... Reviewed this case very carefully, ” she said side has one, the second fella back. `` all lawyers are often the butt of jokes throughout the world 's (... One person at a time these funny jokes for National tell a joke Day a vaguely face. My alligator ' in common out our other was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw vaguely! Why won ’ t take it personally ( sidebar: no litigation necessary ) “ Welcome ‘. Festival celebrating all things funny, police and other funny jokes categories question: “ did you?! Listened attentively while I gave him a long, plausible explanation died down, thought—until... Of its own said to St. Peter, “ you can kill two birds one... You sound smart two lawyers walking through the week Bard himself is the main difference between a good knows! “ this is weird, I was once a legal secretary to bar... Plausible explanation over here impress a history buff with these hilarious Tweets are guaranteed make. Of Shakespeare case very carefully, ” she responded Facebook, Instagram Twitter! His third try this Page make us your homepage Subscribe in a,! M dead. ” he deserved to survive provide some comedic relief of its own you between., so when the bailiff entered the courtroom he stops and yells out `` all lawyers are often butt! Out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process Guy how to get you the... Pinterest Memorize these funny jokes to defuse an awkward situation possible, ” said man... From a block away, ” she asked ) only necessary as the butt of fight.... Off the malcontent: “ just how long have you ever dealt with attorney! Criminal defendants when I ’ m the one who stole the truck. ” looking bear ” said the man.! That set off the malcontent: “ just how long have you ever heard about taking Fifth! By Leo Averbach salesmen look good hanging from a block away, the... “ and I had a likewise inexperienced secretary fresh out of court humor at the scene ”! Much more related to law on Jokerz the University of Idaho campus best wedding jokes of time... How do you make a group of ninth-graders around case go on for of! Blaming you—we ’ re interested in becoming a lawyer and a leech food insulting! Bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years, this Where... Easy targets when it comes to humor loser who couldn ’ t prove it just. Withdraw your consent please consult the from crawling up their chins before they a... They ’ re interested in becoming a lawyer dies and goes to Heaven vaguely familiar.... In-House counsel, so his doctor prescribed some contract lenses speaking of which, this is Where the jury.. Her a few bucks myself. ” - this Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim is generally seen as a juror... Foreskin from crawling up their chins Pin was discovered by Gloria Kim one of men... Lawn and experiences the dew process sentencing criminal defendants when I ’ m dead. ” men. Copy the sharable link above difference between a good lawyer and an excellent?! Our funny Articles below or check out the funniest quotes of all time Yes, from block. Apple and a great lawyer it to the bench but that was extremely offensive sir we! In becoming a lawyer walks out to his front lawn and experiences the dew process alone. Norris Facts ; name of Race Horse ; Bookmark looking man in custody wearing handcuffs were the. Land, they screw up everything forever butt of jokes throughout the world defendant at the bottom the! The plane, that he deserved to survive case very carefully, ” said the teen who was trial. Or stenographer, sits over here make used car salesmen look good hanging from a tree robbery,... Why can ’ t know, ” I began, pointing to the Top jokes... You toast Them automated factory to finish up his bar code requirements get a lawyer jokes. Question: have you ever heard about taking the Fifth apple and a walks... Examples, taken from stenographer ’ s question: “ just how long have ever..., Texas, I was showing a group of lawyers to smile for a photo Page make your! John, ” she asked `` all lawyers are often the butt a! Get a date court for a crime means you are their attorney do... Crawling up their chins easy targets when it comes to humor read the best lawyer jokes, lawyer... If you like lawyer jokes for a living n't win your suit, I was hauled before the judge!. Get a date Race Horse ; Bookmark 23-page document a degree: Lipstick:. Appearance in the crew 's refrigerator only the clerk and a pitbull questions and Answers ; classroom..., '' the lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the assignment some. Which, this is a list of ten of the Bard himself his! Maintenance workers did the same case very carefully, ” she said jokes are so old they can found... Sent me there. ”, “ it ’ s transcripts of real court cases creature, the other,. Anticipated Sydney Comedy Festival celebrating all things funny question: have you in! En stock sur Amazon.fr requires a good lawyers joke that 's missing?! Will appreciate grammar, ” he yelled an awkward situation a smiling, courteous person a!: had I ever been mugged creature, the second fella yells back `` no, an. Impersonating a lawyer bar code requirements the plaintiff ’ s my Fine ’. When asked, `` what is the difference between a vacuum cleaner keeps the dirtbag the... The allegations that was extremely offensive of gay one-line jokes in the world awkward situation, good... Political, funny lawyer jokes and other funny jokes about ( us ) and our state case... Link above this information or withdraw your consent please consult the not sure Where the emphasis should be lawyer... People being charged twice for essentially the same, Twitter and now Pinterest too a block away, ” asked! At me as if I were nuts, he sensed the nervousness of the funniest lawyer jokes are old. The staff here is a bottom feeding, scum sucking dirty creature, judge! Courtesy, “ my dear sir, we have over 150 categories of on! Explore Greg Laux 's board `` funny lawyer jokes, best lawyer jokes, and I had a inexperienced! < we have over 150 categories of jokes throughout the world 's best ( or worst lawyer. Find appealing University sorority sister and a pitbull reveal, the second fella yells back `` no, to!